Things Executives Aren't Supposed to Say Out Loud
By Marcy McMahon, Director of Client Success | HR Collaborative
Executives talk to us because we're trusted thought partners. We'd never betray that trust – but a few anonymous snippets are worth sharing, because they open a door.
They're sincere, sometimes deep, and sometimes really funny. They almost always arrive as a "by the way" at the tail end of a strategy session, usually prefaced with "Can I be honest?"
Sometimes I have no idea what the right decision is.
I thought becoming an executive meant I'd finally have more control over my calendar.
I absolutely Googled that acronym during the meeting.
Sometimes when everyone looks at me for the answer, I think, why are you all looking at me?
These come from highly competent, well-compensated, entirely capable executive leaders who run the room and the organization – and do it well.
Which tells you something about how we're more alike than different.
The calendar thing deserves its own paragraph
There is a specific moment, somewhere in the first ninety days of a big promotion, when a leader realizes that seniority did not buy them freedom.
It bought them a calendar that other people fill in.
Nobody warns you. You spend years imagining the corner office as the place where you finally get to think, and then you arrive and discover it's mostly a place where you get invited to things. The work you were promoted for now happens in the twenty-minute gaps.
Learning to protect that time is a genuine executive skill. It is also, notably, not a skill anyone teaches you before you need it.
Without care, every meeting creates more questions and more work instead of the other way around. I have definitely left the day with a longer list than I started with.
Corporate phrases that should be retired immediately
"Let's take this offline."
Translation: I would like this conversation to end and I am prepared to be vague when it resumes.
"Let's put a pin in it."
The pin is decorative. There is no corkboard. The idea is gone.
"We're flying the plane while we're building it."
Sounds bold, but makes everyone quietly wonder about the wings. (I confess to having said, "We're building the plane while hanging from the wing by our fingernails." But I digress.)
Though if we're honest, most of these phrases exist for one reason: they're what we say when we need more time and don't want to admit it.
Which is its own kind of confession.
What these confessions have in common
Read those confessions again and notice what they have in common.
Not one of them is about a lack of ability.
They're about the gap between how much certainty the role appears to require and how much any human actually has.
Executives get asked one question above all others: What should we do?
And the honest answer, more often than anyone admits, is: I have a strong opinion and about sixty percent of the information.
The skill isn't eliminating that gap. It's making good decisions inside it, and being straight enough with your people that they trust the process even when the outcome is uncertain.
That's part of why senior leadership feels lonely.
It isn't the absence of people. It's the absence of anyone in the room who understands and can share the burden of admitting uncertainty.
Senior leaders need mentors, peer groups, and room to grow, just like everyone else.
Which brings us to the point
The most common thing we hear from leaders on the rise is some version of: How do I become the kind of leader people actually want to follow?
Here's what we've noticed after a lot of these conversations: the executives worth following are almost never the ones who have it all figured out.
They're the ones still asking questions, still uncomfortable, still learning things they're slightly embarrassed not to already know.
Because the truth is, great executives don't already know everything.
They're the ones who keep developing – risk-takers and lifelong learners who entertain fresh ideas, practice curiosity, and grow their leadership on purpose.
If you've been quietly wondering whether you're ready for the next tier, the answer is that nobody is.
The ones who make it are the ones who go anyway, with good people around them.
That's what our Transformational Leadership Development Cohort is for. Four half-day workshops, expert instructors, and real C-suite leaders who will tell you the unpolished version – including which acronyms they've Googled.
Ready for the conversations leaders don't always get to have?
HR Collaborative's Transformational Leadership Development Cohort brings aspiring executives, newly promoted senior leaders, and seasoned leaders together to develop the skills, perspective, and confidence needed to lead at the next level.
Through four interactive half-day workshops, you'll learn alongside experienced executives, leadership experts, and peers navigating many of the same questions you are.
